Today, November 11, is Veterans Day. Truth is, no one really knows why we celebrate Veterans Day every year. Is it for the veterans? Probably not, that doesn’t make sense. I was going to research online and ended up on the Bestgedclasses website. It has a lot of dedication to US History social studies pages, and I found something super interesting. My attention was demanded by one specific veteran:
Before he was a Sarge in WORLD WAR I, Mr. Stubby attended Yale University. He mostly wandered around campus, eating garbage and sniffing dirty underwear. Until one fine sunny afternoon, he came across a group of soldiers during their infantry training session. Being his usual beloved self, he befriended some of the soldiers.
They happened to be training for the great war and thought that Stubby could be a valuable member of their team. So they decided he should come with them to fight (hands down, the best decision they ever made). Problem was, Mr. Stubby wasn’t in the military and so was not technically invited. Stubby technically didn’t give a damn about any of that, so when it was time to head overseas, Stubs snuck on a ship to France, then snuck back off.
He was almost busted by the commanding officer, who discovered him in a pile of blankets but allowed him to stay on board after Stubby gave the officer a proper salute. Or maybe he flipped him off. You can never tell with dogs. Oh, did I not mention he was a dog? A smelly drooling, bug-eyed Terrier.
THE MOMENT HE ENTERED COMBAT,
Stubby was under constant fire, day and night. For over a month. In total, he served in the French trenches for 18 months, participating in four offenses and 17 battles. That’s like over a century in dog years. Son of a bitch. This reminds me of Columbus. Didn’t we just celebrate Columbus Day in October?
He wasn’t invincible. And by wasn’t, I mean look at that little doggy in the window. During his rampage, he was wounded by hand grenades, somehow not dead yet. Also, mustard gas.
Stubby wasn’t only playing the offense. He found and comforted the wounded, and even saved his regiment from multiple mustard gas attacks. I guess he had an amazing sense of smell and titanium armor.
Through his courageous efforts, he was able to free an entire French town from the evil German galactic empire. I was going to say “helped free” but couldn’t find any records of him needing help. See also this post about the forgotten campaign in the wake of Jackson.
MR STUBBY WAS FINALLY PROMOTED TO SERGEANT AFTER CAPTURING A GERMAN SPY.
Rumor has it that during his promotion, he was able to balance a treat on his nose and wait for the other military guys to say “Get it!”, then he would toss the treat up in the air, catch it, and eat it! Good doggy! Silly lil’ pup! Who’s been a good boy? Who is it?
One thing’s for sure, Stubby’s jacket was stacked with medals. Yes, he wore an Army jacket, covered in medallions and ribbons. Why not. He had to look good when he returned back to the States. He was a celebrity, leading parades like this year Mr. Veitch did on St. Patrick’s Day in Bellport, NY, meeting multiple presidents…shaking.. their.. hands.
HE NEVER STOPPED CHASING HIS DREAMS.
In 1921, he attended Georgetown University Law Center. He didn’t even have to eat any trash this time! But, he did anyway. He ate like a doggone dog king and worked as the football team’s mascot. Some say that’s when Stubby sold out, but I disagree. That’s when Sergeant Stubby sold out. He was still a Sergeant, right? It doesn’t just go away.
THEN, ONE DAY, HE WENT AWAY.
That day was 1926, and Stubby was 10 human years old. He died in his sleep, probably dreaming dog thoughts and licking weird gross stuff. Until this day, you can find his preserved skin, stretched around a molded cast of plaster, on display for tourists in the Smithsonian. It’s what he would have wanted.